The Secret Source of Spirituality
Essence
There’s something that I witnessed time and time again in India. This thing struck me deeply and it was something I’d never put much thought into. A concept that requires utter faith in something outside of us. Alongside a knowingly-unknowing commitment to the essence of something so much bigger, so much wiser than us: devotion.
The definitions of devotion online all seem pretty wishy-washy to me, a little too placid. I would consider it to be a non-judgemental love towards something/someone. I now see devotion as a way of manifestation, of relinquishing control and accepting the unknown outcomes of life, be they happy or harsh. By being devoted to a practice, or God, you’re saying “I trust you entirely, I trust the process wholly”.
The source
For me, I saw part of my venture to India as a way of searching for ‘authenticity’ from the spiritual community there, almost as if the practices I had been used to at home were somehow ‘new age’ or ‘inferior’. Looking back on this notion I had, I realise how wrong I was to even consider such an idea, and feel a sense of sadness that I could diminish any of the beautiful spiritual experiences I have already had. In my head however, I saw India as the source. The yogic source specifically. In other words, this land had given generations of gurus their insight and wisdom and so I assumed that dipping into ways of spiritual life here may be more, uh, real.
Yet, amidst the intricate temples and teachings about the depths of meditations, I learned that the source isn’t necessarily anything to do with the land it was found on…or when it was ‘found’ either..
Help!
Both paths of spirituality*, shall we call them, evoked some sort of resistance in me. The Western side, I noticed most starkly when visiting the more touristy sides of India. Varkala was doused in Western schools of Yoga and I felt myself questioning their authenticity, as if they had stolen practices from the schools who were teaching the real stuff.
Now, if you’ve learned yoga from a Western yoga school or practice with Western teachers (cough, yes this is in fact me, cough cough yes I see blatantly the irony here) you’re probably scowling at this blog right now, prepping yourself to hold your case on their merits! But before you get too hyped up, read on, because we’re probably in agreement…
Alternatively, the Indian practices were new and unknown to me, which created a fear of doing something wrong. You see, there has been a lot of controversy online in the past few years about cultural appropriation of the practice. If you’re deep in these circles you may have seen outpourings of influencers telling you why you shouldn’t use ‘namaste’ at the end of your practice, for example. Then there’s the people suggesting why you definitely should (and comically others suggesting why you definitely shouldn’t) use Sanskrit words to describe postures. For me, as for any of you trying to navigate the teaching world of yoga, it felt like I was in a cage stepping into the motherland, petrified that I might offend someone, or worse - BE BANNED FROM THE LAND ITSELF FOR BARBARIC PRACTICES! (Ok, the last one was just for dramatic effect, but you get the idea right?! The internet makes this place a minefield!)
The perfect bindi
To say I was pleasantly surprised is an absolute understatement. There wasn’t one instance of an Indian telling me I shouldn’t be doing xyz. (At least to my face…or at least in English…). I was welcomed like actual family into this spiritual land, and the people I met were so eager to share their beloved culture with me. The girly moments in the dorm of the ashram are some of the most treasured that I hold from this time - getting dressed up in sarees, having henna artwork painted on my hands, finding the perfect bindi and learning about natural remedies for literally any problem you may have.
Now you may be wondering, how does any of this link to devotion?! Well, let me tell you my friend. The yoga that I learned to teach was bathed in devotional practices. Chants, rituals, prayers and everything in-between. All of the rituals and practices are sewn beautifully with a devotional thread. And all of those ‘is this offensive if I’ - questions, I believe, are inherently linked to devotion.
Take the Sanskrit words for example. This language is known as the language of the Gods in India, and so the use of these in the yoga practice (even if the whole class is taught in English) you could say is to use the source word for the posture. This beautiful and intricate language is said to be closer to God, and hold a higher vibrational essence than any other known language. Therefore using these words, you could say, is a method of raising the consciousness of your practice and allowing it to be influenced by an outside force. So the real questions may instead be “Are you doing the practice with authenticity in your own heart? And are you devoted to the practice itself?
Being devoted to any practice allows space for growth, and allows you to hand over the reigns.
Guide me
The older generation in India particularly spend up to hours everyday, chanting and nourishing their mini altars within their homes, praying for their loved ones and doing their devoted commitments to the higher powers. The rituals have been passed down for many centuries, guiding families through tough times and giving them refuge from the chaos of the world and their minds.
In my experience at home, the methods of spirituality are really quite different, and yet oftentimes overlap. There’s more of a focus on individual emotions, sharing circles and journalling - a sense of understanding our own feelings in order to resolve the problems in our lives.
Therapy is becoming more and more accepted and the yoga mat is a common place to go to just, cry.** I now have a deep appreciation for all the devotees over the years who brought this devotion, these practices across the world. For sharing a path to deeper connection. For altering it in ways that allow everyone to embrace it in some way.
The interesting alignment I find here is that, in Yoga (specifically in the Vedas, the source of yogic philosophy) they teach that God is one - non dualistic, and therefore the inner essence within all of us. And with some of the practices I’ve done at home, we are indeed trying to connect with the inner self, to understand ourselves and thus, if following this concept of non-dualism, understand God. Just as a religious person may do whilst connecting with a deity in front of them.
In saying this, the non-religious of us may wince at this concept, not relating the inner self with the concept of a God at all, yet I have seen more acceptance of this association in recent times. (Notably standing out to me in The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, a book about unblocking your creative potential first published in 1992).
It’s all within
Could it be that we’re all just dancing towards the same destinies, just taking different paths? I see the glory of faith more so than I ever have before, the beauty of trusting something larger than us, thanking God, whoever that is to you, for our food, our successes, even the challenges.
The expression of devotion is directly the diminishing of the ego, that fiery little friend who tells us that we deserve recognition and that the world would fall apart without us.
What if the successes and the pains and the joys were all in the hands of someone else? What if we could accept what has been given to us, sunshine or rain, and do our work in devotion for someone other than ourselves?
In reality, I love parts of both aspects of spirituality that I’ve been a part of. In intimate circles at home I felt release and acceptance of myself and my journey. In India, I felt a presence that was undeniable in many temples or sacred places, a sense of resolve in itself, one of healing through energies alone. The feeling of connection was heightened by ritual in India, whether that be the cooling sandalwood paste pressed on your forehead or the delicious, nourishing prasad as a blessing. This gave a sense of closeness with the higher power, enriching the experience somewhat.
Mostly, I loved the sense of non-performative spirituality within the walls of the temples. Often, no phones were allowed inside and therefore whatever you experienced was more personal and intimate. There is often an urge to instagram your healing practices, which I am guilty of for sure, yet I can’t help but think this takes away from the experience on some level. Feeding the ego a few scraps to ensure she knows, that the world knows, you’re healing in some way or another. This opens up another question in my mind: does performative healing cloud the real journey? A whole other future blog perhaps..
Good times or bad
The thing I’ve learned most profoundly from this experience is that devotion, in a sense of regular practice, is probably the most advantageous quest you can take towards spirituality and healing. It’s the showing up to your practice, whether that’s your mat or your altar or your journal, whether times are good or bad. It’s creating a devotional mindset to God, and yourself, and this glorious earth which is the thing that may provide ultimate security and faith.
That source that I was seeking, that maybe you are too. The source of spirituality, the yogic teaching would explain is in fact us. How you find that source and how you share its energy is entirely authentic to you. It’s not a place, or a practice…it’s everything and yet, confusingly, has no physical appearance at all.
We may search for different methods of meaning to this crazy chaotic world, yet we all ultimately hold the answers within ourselves and I believe devotion, whatever that means to you, is a beautiful way to get there.
Continue the conversation
@inthesky.yoga
*I’m speaking from a non-religious sense here
**Whilst therapy isn’t inherently spiritual, I definitely think there’s a link here. Certainly if paired with practices like meditation and mindfulness. Perhaps it could be considered a devotion to making our lives better, to resolving pain, to making the lives of those around us happier.
